The dreaded first blog!!

I've never kept a diary before or done a blog, this is all kinda new to me, so figure bear with me and we'll see where it goes.  Who know's I'll probably end up bored and go get upto more badness rather than writing about it!!!  Really don't know where to start!!!

It's been a bit of a chaotic week this week, I normally dont like playing more than once or twice a week as I know afterwards that the come down hits me pretty hard, this week though has been a bit of an exception to the rule.

Not sure if theres any kind of ettiquette as to how far should go back in each blog, or how frequently should update, but figure its my blog and I dont like conforming to rules!!!

I suppose this latest batch of badness and mischief started last Friday.  There's probably something ironic in the fact my blogs titled "ramblings of a trainee domme" when my first little anecdote is going to be about me being a good well behaved submissive (for once i wasnt bratty and didnt bite once!!!).

Friday I'd arranged for A and D to come over, A is a female submissive, D a male dom and me being a greedy female switch.  Was the first time I'd experienced the dynamic of 1 dom, 2 subs and it was rather fun, although very hard to control myself not to jump in and deliver a few spankings myself!!! I did get to experience needle play for the first time, and although was just a demonstration with 3 needles in my arm it was rather a intense experience.  Due to lack of dom/mes around it's not often I get to indulge my submissive side and was one of only a few times I;ve had my bum beaten this year, must admit I hadn't really realised how much I missed it.

Saturday/Sunday I had the lovely B around, B I dont get to see too often as is a bit of a drive away, and weekends always end up so chaotic. Had a great time playing around with candle wax, pinwheels, floggers and assorted other "hitty" things.  Although all the bdsm play was on the saturday night, had a very relaxing day on sunday spending most of day in bed, theres nothing like a good snuggle after playing!!

Monday I had W over, must admit had got myself a little nervous on this session, I was very much aware that was first time I had played with them and although I'm not inexperienced I readily admit that I have a lot to learn and always get a little anxious when playing with someone for the first time.  In the end all seemed to work out ok and we both had a good time, yet again was told I had sharp teeth!!!

Tuesday was intended to be a chill out vanilla day of going out for a meal and cinema with C, C as well as being one of my playmates is also one of my closest friends and was looking forward to a bit of relaxing.  We'd arranged to meet up at 6pm for dinner with tickets booked for avatar for just after 8.  My plans for a vanilla day where soon messed up when had a text message from S telling me I was cheeky for suggesting biting her bum and needed punishing, I replied that it'd have to wait a few days as was going out to cinema, but she decided that a few swipes of the cane would make the whole cinema experience more memorable.

Well to cut a long story short between the meal and the cinema I had to sit for about 5 hours on a very bruised bum, was very hard not to wiggle about too much :)

Wednesday I went to a bar to interview a potential new sub, as am running out of letters will call him S1 for lack of anything better.  Was a very pleasant hour chatting over drinks about various topics, now have a lot of thinking to do as to whether I have time to fit another submissive into my circle of playmates.  After seeing S1 I then found myself heading over to S & M's (no pun intended with abbreviation there!!) for a quiet couple of drinks and a gossip.

So all in all its been a busy week, I'm currently still riding a two week long endorphin high at present, and more kinky badness planned for both tonight and tomorrow night.  Am actually dreading when things calm down a bit as I know I'm going to probably end slumping pretty badly.  When I play I always find that theres so much emotional intensity that nothing else could ever match the highs that you can get from a session, but as with any high there has to be the come down eventually.  This one I think is going to suck pretty badly, but figure it'll have been worth it.  I've had such a fantastic time recently and got to experience some very pleasant feelings and emotions

This last week has got me thinking a lot about what I am actually looking for in life, so much of my life revolves around the BDSM scene, all my friends are involved within it to some degree or another, it's within the scene and more particularly the local group http://www.alternativeni.co.uk/ that I have my main support and feel that I can be myself, and indulge in all my kinky pastimes. 

Somehow I've currently ended up with quite a number of play partners, part of me is wondering if thats a good thing or not, am I just playing with a lot of people so I dont become close to anyone person to protect myself?  I dont think I am? I know theres a big difference in way I feel during and after play with people I am close to rather than just people I'm aquainted with.  I love the feeling and the emotional connection during the scene with those that I have high levels of trust with, certainly is a lot more intimate feeling, even if no sex has occured during the session.

I think its that intimicy that I am getting addicted to, despite the fact that I play with a lot of people there is a closeness I think between me and a lot of those, the levels of trust I have with people is greater than I've ever had with anyone in the past. Would I still be capable of being monogamous?  I dont know anymore?   Really not sure what i'm after anymore, what I do know is that I'm not after encounter after encounter just for the sake of kinky sex :)